The Skank Agents - The Skank Agents (Presumably Self-titiled, but who knows)
Please forgive me for what I am about to do. This review will be difficult for all of us I am afraid. The Skank Agents from parts unkown. I scoured their site and found nothing. And they don't have a My Space page to look on. I am not going to make something up though. Because I am sure they will not exist to me after the review. To be fair, it seems they are just starting out. They are strapping young lads with bright futures ahead of them. And barring their revolving door band members finally putting a nail in this bands coffin, they should only get better in time. With that said, I will now rip them to shreds without thought. I think we should start off with saying that the last two tracks are talking andIi think playing, but they are not really songs, more of thanks yous and introductions, which is nice I guess, but maybe do that in one track. The 'album' only has really five songs on it, even if it says 7. As for the actual music, well I use that term loosely, the horns sound like a zoo that has been set on fire and all the animals are burning alive. I admit I was surprised at the introduction to the fist song, but my hopes were quickly smashed away. I also hear a cowbell sometimes I think. Listen people just because B.O.C. did it, doesn't mean everyone can. It doesn't make you cool and there are plenty of other things to hit with a stick. We all want this to be over so I am going right to the Track(s) of Love and Doom. I will give them the effort though. I think FAR FAR FAR FAR down the road, with some practice and and good recording equipment they might be less than decent. Maybe they got a bitchen live show, oh wait, they don't do that either... Track(s) of Love: "What?! You have hated on these guys the entire review, how could there possibly be anything you like about it?" I know, I feel mostly the same way. But I claim that anyone can write a decent song if they try hard enough and play the statistics. Track 5(I don't have the names of these tracks.) is what I think they should look to to build upon. Yes, it is mostly bad, but I think that just comes from them just starting out, learning their rythim and finding their groove. I believe it is a building block for the future and recording aside is not a horrible song, it is almost good. Track(s) of Doom: Um.... the other 6 tracks. Now it's time for the final marks. On a scale that goes from -5 to 5 I give this album a -4. I cannot find it in my heart, or lack there of. To give them a -5. I KNOW there is something out there that is worse. And they are young and just starting out. If they didn't make a shitty album, i think I would be surprised. But for now, just keep at it and pay your dues, you'll get it right eventually, just not this time.
Scale
-5
-4
-3
-2
-1
0
1
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3
4
5
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